Mondays with Karen

Other people have Tuesdays with Morrie. I have Mondays with Karen. The first one was for the purposes of catching up on seven years of no-see. It only took five jugs of Pimms to get through the basics, by the end of which I was practically living in the bathroom, such is the inability of my bladder to cope with that much liquid.

So, two weeks in Manly, and what I have got to show for it? A pretty nice tan. Sand in almost everything I own, some bruises from an attempt to learn to surf - not my proudest athletic moment, that one - and no clean or dry knickers because I did a huge load of washing and hung it all out and then it rained. Warmly.

I also did some work for Jessa, where we both went berserk with our red pens and were told we were anal. Given how much we'd let go because of the deadline, we were both a bit surprised by this, but kept on trucking. Because we're troopers. Troopers who drink bourbon in the bath and sing to Icehouse.

Manly Girl Guides. Makes me laugh every time.

Oh, and two references in one week to vajazzling cannot be a good thing. Go on, look it up.

Things that have made my day in Manly

White Lady Funerals - A woman's understanding.

Katie and Pen fail to make a porno

I'm not sure where we went wrong. I mean, we had all the ingredients. Two exceptionally hot women wearing very little in the way of sleepwear, a broken stove, dubious music and the stove repair man. An unattractive stove repair man, which if my knowledge of porn is to be believed, means he's well hung.

He came in, he fixed the stove, he left. Didn't even want a cup of tea.

We're still shaking our heads over how we failed to recognise the potential in this situation. I think we were too busy talking about whether or not to do a load of washing.

We need help.